The regular followers of this blog know that I occasionally blog about my dealing with chronic pain, and this is another such blog entry. For over a decade now, I've been dealing with pain that's caused by a reconstructive chest surgery I had when I was a teenager that has slowly been breaking down. Unfortunately, the deterioration seems to be increasing. It used to be that I had pain in my two lower left ribs, but now I'm beginning to have pain all through my chest...in all of the ribs and in the sternum. It's also become painfully obvious that my sternum is collapsing further into my chest. Although that may sound scary, it actually isn't. The collapse is very slow, which, unfortunately, is causing me to have shortness of breath. The odds of a rapid collapse that might puncture something are extremely small, so I'm not really worried about that. My biggest concern is the increasing pain.
The other night at my oldest's honor band concert, I went to put my arm around Rebecca and felt a few of my ribs pop, meaning that I couldn't even put my arm around my wife to enjoy our daughter's performance. It's now gotten to the point that I can't go out and play volleyball with the oldest, or soccer with our middle daughter, or pick up my youngest and play with her like I used to. It's very depressing, but I know that just about anything I do can cause pain. Last night I took a deep breath and felt a rib pop and the pain increased dramatically.
It's obvious that at some point I am going to have to have surgery to repair this, but that's not something that is even remotely feasible at this time. I am uninsured, and the cost to put me on Rebecca's insurance right now would mean that the family would be eating ramen for a long time to come, and it would also deter our plans of getting our own house. Hopefully she will get promoted before the next open enrollment, and that will at least make it a little easier, but such a dramatic surgery would put a real strain on us, as I would be useless for quite some time...something I would not deal well with.
Dealing with this pain, it has become quite clear to me how some people can be driven to suicide by chronic pain. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I have an amazing wife and three wonderful daughters, so I wouldn't do something like that. I'm just saying that the pain, the feelings of uselessness, and the depression could certainly lead someone to make that decision.
For now, I just have to do whatever I can to avoid things that will cause pain, which is almost anything. I have to take it easy when I'm cleaning the house, when I'm at my "real" job, and just about anything else.
Well, that's enough griping for now. If you've actually read this far, thanks. This wasn't an effort to try to get people to feel sorry for me. I don't want that. Sometimes, it just feels good to document these types of things for others to see. In time, I will get this fixed and I will be out of pain. For now...I deal...
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Battle for Turtle Island on sale
For the next week, you can get the e-book version of the role
playing game The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars for 50%
off…that’s just $2.50. Go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/291831 and use coupon code XF49R at checkout.
Imagine it’s the 19th century, and the colonization/conquest of the Americas is underway yet again, only this time magic is real, and the Indians have a lot more of it than the colonists. This is the world of The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars.
The colonists may have the better weapons, but the Indians nearly double the magic of the colonists. Maybe this time the history of the Americas will be very, very different. The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars is actually two books in one. It has the core rules for The Battle for Turtle Island RPG, which will be a series of books featuring the different parts of the Americas, and it also has the Buffalo Wars supplement which looks at the battles for the plains.
You can choose to be a Cavalry Soldier, an Arapahoe Medicine Man, a Colonist Trapper, an Apache Warrior, or any number of other classes, and your character can choose to change classes as they advance. This book contains, the character classes, the special abilities for each Indian tribe, the goods, the spells, and much more.
The only other thing you’ll need to play is some dice and a vivid imagination.
Imagine it’s the 19th century, and the colonization/conquest of the Americas is underway yet again, only this time magic is real, and the Indians have a lot more of it than the colonists. This is the world of The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars.
The colonists may have the better weapons, but the Indians nearly double the magic of the colonists. Maybe this time the history of the Americas will be very, very different. The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars is actually two books in one. It has the core rules for The Battle for Turtle Island RPG, which will be a series of books featuring the different parts of the Americas, and it also has the Buffalo Wars supplement which looks at the battles for the plains.
You can choose to be a Cavalry Soldier, an Arapahoe Medicine Man, a Colonist Trapper, an Apache Warrior, or any number of other classes, and your character can choose to change classes as they advance. This book contains, the character classes, the special abilities for each Indian tribe, the goods, the spells, and much more.
The only other thing you’ll need to play is some dice and a vivid imagination.
Saturday, April 04, 2015
More healthcare cost griping
The bills are starting to roll in for Rebecca's recent surgery, and once again it's time for me to gripe about healthcare costs, and the screwed up American healthcare system. The hospital attempted to bill the insurance company over $45,000 for the procedure and recovery. This doesn't even include an overnight stay. She was discharged the same day. Granted, the insurance company negotiated a lower cost, but it's ridiculous that things are this expensive. True, a big part of medical costs are caused by frivolous malpractice lawsuits brought about by less than scrupulous people, but you can't honestly expect me to believe that it cost the hospital that much money for my wife to be there. Even with a healthy profit margin, that's still insane. Especially given the fact that the insurance company was able to negotiate a lower price, that shows that hospitals are overcharging.
It's also interesting to note that the insurance company is negotiating a larger percentage discount on bills now that we've paid our deductible...meaning that they have to pay 90% of the coverage. This also tells me how corrupt the insurance companies are.
I still believe that Obamacare was a step in the right direction, but we still have a very long way to go if we want a healthcare system that truly works.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how a lower middle income family is supposed to pay our 10%. Guess I need to write some more books...
It's also interesting to note that the insurance company is negotiating a larger percentage discount on bills now that we've paid our deductible...meaning that they have to pay 90% of the coverage. This also tells me how corrupt the insurance companies are.
I still believe that Obamacare was a step in the right direction, but we still have a very long way to go if we want a healthcare system that truly works.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how a lower middle income family is supposed to pay our 10%. Guess I need to write some more books...
Wednesday, April 01, 2015
This is not an April Fool's Joke
Today only, you can pick up the PDF version of the Ephemeris Role Playing Game from DriveThruRPG for just $1.59 by going to http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/63664/Ephemeris?src=DotD&from_home=1.
Friday, March 27, 2015
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica: Sectors Thirty-Six - Thirty-Eight
The exploration of “Unexplored Space” continues with Sectors 36-38.
There are a lot of new planets to explore in these sectors, and there are places that have even been colonized, some of which see almost constant war. There are the remains of more Glikth-machine wars, and a species that has only recently died.
http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/146792/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtySix--ThirtyEight
There are a lot of new planets to explore in these sectors, and there are places that have even been colonized, some of which see almost constant war. There are the remains of more Glikth-machine wars, and a species that has only recently died.
http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/146792/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtySix--ThirtyEight
Friday, March 20, 2015
Rebecca's recovery
We've been home for a few days since Rebecca's surgery, and her recovery is progressing slowly. Her pain levels have finally dropped off to something a little more manageable, especially since she stopped taking the pain meds. They seem to have been giving her very serious headaches and neck pain. She has had a low grade fever from time to time, but nothing that points to an infection, but I'm still keeping a close eye on her...and she'd probably say too close of an eye.
She is now able to get up and move around a lot easier without my help, so she definitely seems to be on the road to recovery.
There's been a cold circulating through the house, and I have some of the early signs of it. I have a feeling that as soon as I'm sure she's out of danger from infection, I will probably drop and be sick for days,
She is now able to get up and move around a lot easier without my help, so she definitely seems to be on the road to recovery.
There's been a cold circulating through the house, and I have some of the early signs of it. I have a feeling that as soon as I'm sure she's out of danger from infection, I will probably drop and be sick for days,
Thursday, March 12, 2015
The fear is beginning to set in
We are now just a few days away from Rebecca's gallbladder surgery, and although this surgery is very routine, and it's done all the time, it's still surgery. There is always that chance that something could go wrong, and this is becoming very "real" for all of us.
It's only been a little over a year since she lost another brother, and given the number of people that have passed in the science fiction/fantasy community over the last year (both writers and fans), including people that I considered at least good acquaintances, if not actual friends, it makes the fear that much more real.
Add to this the passing of a former co-worker just a few weeks ago, a lady who we called the Den Mother because she always tried to take care of all of us, and the fact that a very dear friend checked himself into a hospital last week because he was suicidal, makes death a very real aspect in our lives right now.
We all realize that gallbladder surgery is nothing like brain or heart surgery, but there's still that big "what if?" Rebecca's not just my wife and the mother of my children, she is, without a doubt, the best friend that I've ever had, and the thought of losing her is terrifying.
Add to this the fact that the kids are worried about her, and a couple of them are acting out in different ways is just making things that much harder.
I realize that almost certainly in a week's time I'll be looking back at this post and thinking how silly it was to be this nervous...but for the moment, the fear is beginning to set in, and that's more real.
It's only been a little over a year since she lost another brother, and given the number of people that have passed in the science fiction/fantasy community over the last year (both writers and fans), including people that I considered at least good acquaintances, if not actual friends, it makes the fear that much more real.
Add to this the passing of a former co-worker just a few weeks ago, a lady who we called the Den Mother because she always tried to take care of all of us, and the fact that a very dear friend checked himself into a hospital last week because he was suicidal, makes death a very real aspect in our lives right now.
We all realize that gallbladder surgery is nothing like brain or heart surgery, but there's still that big "what if?" Rebecca's not just my wife and the mother of my children, she is, without a doubt, the best friend that I've ever had, and the thought of losing her is terrifying.
Add to this the fact that the kids are worried about her, and a couple of them are acting out in different ways is just making things that much harder.
I realize that almost certainly in a week's time I'll be looking back at this post and thinking how silly it was to be this nervous...but for the moment, the fear is beginning to set in, and that's more real.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
E-book sale: Taurin Tales
Borrowed from Nomadic Delirium Press:
During this week's e-book sale, you can get Taurin Tales from Smashwords for just $2. Go to A HREF="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428" target="_blank"> https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428
and use coupon code ZQ47N at checkout.
Taurin Tales is a shared world anthology featuring some of the top names in small press science fiction. The Taurins were created by science fiction writer, editor, and game designer J Alan Erwine. Once he had created them, he invited some of his favorite writers to play in the universe, and further flesh out these new aliens. Thus was born Taurin Tales.
The stories in this collection cover a large aspect of Taurin life…grand space adventures, small character studies, the tackling of difficult social issues, the past and the future of the Taurins.
Included in this collection, you’ll find David Lee Summers, D. Moonfire, Ian Brazee-Cannon, Tyree Campbell, Anna Paradox, Laura Givens, and Rick Novy.
During this week's e-book sale, you can get Taurin Tales from Smashwords for just $2. Go to A HREF="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428" target="_blank"> https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428
and use coupon code ZQ47N at checkout.
Taurin Tales is a shared world anthology featuring some of the top names in small press science fiction. The Taurins were created by science fiction writer, editor, and game designer J Alan Erwine. Once he had created them, he invited some of his favorite writers to play in the universe, and further flesh out these new aliens. Thus was born Taurin Tales.
The stories in this collection cover a large aspect of Taurin life…grand space adventures, small character studies, the tackling of difficult social issues, the past and the future of the Taurins.
Included in this collection, you’ll find David Lee Summers, D. Moonfire, Ian Brazee-Cannon, Tyree Campbell, Anna Paradox, Laura Givens, and Rick Novy.
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