The regular followers of this blog know that I occasionally blog about my dealing with chronic pain, and this is another such blog entry. For over a decade now, I've been dealing with pain that's caused by a reconstructive chest surgery I had when I was a teenager that has slowly been breaking down. Unfortunately, the deterioration seems to be increasing. It used to be that I had pain in my two lower left ribs, but now I'm beginning to have pain all through my chest...in all of the ribs and in the sternum. It's also become painfully obvious that my sternum is collapsing further into my chest. Although that may sound scary, it actually isn't. The collapse is very slow, which, unfortunately, is causing me to have shortness of breath. The odds of a rapid collapse that might puncture something are extremely small, so I'm not really worried about that. My biggest concern is the increasing pain.
The other night at my oldest's honor band concert, I went to put my arm around Rebecca and felt a few of my ribs pop, meaning that I couldn't even put my arm around my wife to enjoy our daughter's performance. It's now gotten to the point that I can't go out and play volleyball with the oldest, or soccer with our middle daughter, or pick up my youngest and play with her like I used to. It's very depressing, but I know that just about anything I do can cause pain. Last night I took a deep breath and felt a rib pop and the pain increased dramatically.
It's obvious that at some point I am going to have to have surgery to repair this, but that's not something that is even remotely feasible at this time. I am uninsured, and the cost to put me on Rebecca's insurance right now would mean that the family would be eating ramen for a long time to come, and it would also deter our plans of getting our own house. Hopefully she will get promoted before the next open enrollment, and that will at least make it a little easier, but such a dramatic surgery would put a real strain on us, as I would be useless for quite some time...something I would not deal well with.
Dealing with this pain, it has become quite clear to me how some people can be driven to suicide by chronic pain. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I have an amazing wife and three wonderful daughters, so I wouldn't do something like that. I'm just saying that the pain, the feelings of uselessness, and the depression could certainly lead someone to make that decision.
For now, I just have to do whatever I can to avoid things that will cause pain, which is almost anything. I have to take it easy when I'm cleaning the house, when I'm at my "real" job, and just about anything else.
Well, that's enough griping for now. If you've actually read this far, thanks. This wasn't an effort to try to get people to feel sorry for me. I don't want that. Sometimes, it just feels good to document these types of things for others to see. In time, I will get this fixed and I will be out of pain. For now...I deal...
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Battle for Turtle Island on sale
For the next week, you can get the e-book version of the role
playing game The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars for 50%
off…that’s just $2.50. Go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/291831 and use coupon code XF49R at checkout.
Imagine it’s the 19th century, and the colonization/conquest of the Americas is underway yet again, only this time magic is real, and the Indians have a lot more of it than the colonists. This is the world of The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars.
The colonists may have the better weapons, but the Indians nearly double the magic of the colonists. Maybe this time the history of the Americas will be very, very different. The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars is actually two books in one. It has the core rules for The Battle for Turtle Island RPG, which will be a series of books featuring the different parts of the Americas, and it also has the Buffalo Wars supplement which looks at the battles for the plains.
You can choose to be a Cavalry Soldier, an Arapahoe Medicine Man, a Colonist Trapper, an Apache Warrior, or any number of other classes, and your character can choose to change classes as they advance. This book contains, the character classes, the special abilities for each Indian tribe, the goods, the spells, and much more.
The only other thing you’ll need to play is some dice and a vivid imagination.
Imagine it’s the 19th century, and the colonization/conquest of the Americas is underway yet again, only this time magic is real, and the Indians have a lot more of it than the colonists. This is the world of The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars.
The colonists may have the better weapons, but the Indians nearly double the magic of the colonists. Maybe this time the history of the Americas will be very, very different. The Battle for Turtle Island: Buffalo Wars is actually two books in one. It has the core rules for The Battle for Turtle Island RPG, which will be a series of books featuring the different parts of the Americas, and it also has the Buffalo Wars supplement which looks at the battles for the plains.
You can choose to be a Cavalry Soldier, an Arapahoe Medicine Man, a Colonist Trapper, an Apache Warrior, or any number of other classes, and your character can choose to change classes as they advance. This book contains, the character classes, the special abilities for each Indian tribe, the goods, the spells, and much more.
The only other thing you’ll need to play is some dice and a vivid imagination.
Saturday, April 04, 2015
More healthcare cost griping
The bills are starting to roll in for Rebecca's recent surgery, and once again it's time for me to gripe about healthcare costs, and the screwed up American healthcare system. The hospital attempted to bill the insurance company over $45,000 for the procedure and recovery. This doesn't even include an overnight stay. She was discharged the same day. Granted, the insurance company negotiated a lower cost, but it's ridiculous that things are this expensive. True, a big part of medical costs are caused by frivolous malpractice lawsuits brought about by less than scrupulous people, but you can't honestly expect me to believe that it cost the hospital that much money for my wife to be there. Even with a healthy profit margin, that's still insane. Especially given the fact that the insurance company was able to negotiate a lower price, that shows that hospitals are overcharging.
It's also interesting to note that the insurance company is negotiating a larger percentage discount on bills now that we've paid our deductible...meaning that they have to pay 90% of the coverage. This also tells me how corrupt the insurance companies are.
I still believe that Obamacare was a step in the right direction, but we still have a very long way to go if we want a healthcare system that truly works.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how a lower middle income family is supposed to pay our 10%. Guess I need to write some more books...
It's also interesting to note that the insurance company is negotiating a larger percentage discount on bills now that we've paid our deductible...meaning that they have to pay 90% of the coverage. This also tells me how corrupt the insurance companies are.
I still believe that Obamacare was a step in the right direction, but we still have a very long way to go if we want a healthcare system that truly works.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out how a lower middle income family is supposed to pay our 10%. Guess I need to write some more books...
Wednesday, April 01, 2015
This is not an April Fool's Joke
Today only, you can pick up the PDF version of the Ephemeris Role Playing Game from DriveThruRPG for just $1.59 by going to http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/63664/Ephemeris?src=DotD&from_home=1.
Friday, March 27, 2015
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica: Sectors Thirty-Six - Thirty-Eight
The exploration of “Unexplored Space” continues with Sectors 36-38.
There are a lot of new planets to explore in these sectors, and there are places that have even been colonized, some of which see almost constant war. There are the remains of more Glikth-machine wars, and a species that has only recently died.
http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/146792/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtySix--ThirtyEight
There are a lot of new planets to explore in these sectors, and there are places that have even been colonized, some of which see almost constant war. There are the remains of more Glikth-machine wars, and a species that has only recently died.
http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/146792/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtySix--ThirtyEight
Friday, March 20, 2015
Rebecca's recovery
We've been home for a few days since Rebecca's surgery, and her recovery is progressing slowly. Her pain levels have finally dropped off to something a little more manageable, especially since she stopped taking the pain meds. They seem to have been giving her very serious headaches and neck pain. She has had a low grade fever from time to time, but nothing that points to an infection, but I'm still keeping a close eye on her...and she'd probably say too close of an eye.
She is now able to get up and move around a lot easier without my help, so she definitely seems to be on the road to recovery.
There's been a cold circulating through the house, and I have some of the early signs of it. I have a feeling that as soon as I'm sure she's out of danger from infection, I will probably drop and be sick for days,
She is now able to get up and move around a lot easier without my help, so she definitely seems to be on the road to recovery.
There's been a cold circulating through the house, and I have some of the early signs of it. I have a feeling that as soon as I'm sure she's out of danger from infection, I will probably drop and be sick for days,
Thursday, March 12, 2015
The fear is beginning to set in
We are now just a few days away from Rebecca's gallbladder surgery, and although this surgery is very routine, and it's done all the time, it's still surgery. There is always that chance that something could go wrong, and this is becoming very "real" for all of us.
It's only been a little over a year since she lost another brother, and given the number of people that have passed in the science fiction/fantasy community over the last year (both writers and fans), including people that I considered at least good acquaintances, if not actual friends, it makes the fear that much more real.
Add to this the passing of a former co-worker just a few weeks ago, a lady who we called the Den Mother because she always tried to take care of all of us, and the fact that a very dear friend checked himself into a hospital last week because he was suicidal, makes death a very real aspect in our lives right now.
We all realize that gallbladder surgery is nothing like brain or heart surgery, but there's still that big "what if?" Rebecca's not just my wife and the mother of my children, she is, without a doubt, the best friend that I've ever had, and the thought of losing her is terrifying.
Add to this the fact that the kids are worried about her, and a couple of them are acting out in different ways is just making things that much harder.
I realize that almost certainly in a week's time I'll be looking back at this post and thinking how silly it was to be this nervous...but for the moment, the fear is beginning to set in, and that's more real.
It's only been a little over a year since she lost another brother, and given the number of people that have passed in the science fiction/fantasy community over the last year (both writers and fans), including people that I considered at least good acquaintances, if not actual friends, it makes the fear that much more real.
Add to this the passing of a former co-worker just a few weeks ago, a lady who we called the Den Mother because she always tried to take care of all of us, and the fact that a very dear friend checked himself into a hospital last week because he was suicidal, makes death a very real aspect in our lives right now.
We all realize that gallbladder surgery is nothing like brain or heart surgery, but there's still that big "what if?" Rebecca's not just my wife and the mother of my children, she is, without a doubt, the best friend that I've ever had, and the thought of losing her is terrifying.
Add to this the fact that the kids are worried about her, and a couple of them are acting out in different ways is just making things that much harder.
I realize that almost certainly in a week's time I'll be looking back at this post and thinking how silly it was to be this nervous...but for the moment, the fear is beginning to set in, and that's more real.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
E-book sale: Taurin Tales
Borrowed from Nomadic Delirium Press:
During this week's e-book sale, you can get Taurin Tales from Smashwords for just $2. Go to A HREF="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428" target="_blank"> https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428
and use coupon code ZQ47N at checkout.
Taurin Tales is a shared world anthology featuring some of the top names in small press science fiction. The Taurins were created by science fiction writer, editor, and game designer J Alan Erwine. Once he had created them, he invited some of his favorite writers to play in the universe, and further flesh out these new aliens. Thus was born Taurin Tales.
The stories in this collection cover a large aspect of Taurin life…grand space adventures, small character studies, the tackling of difficult social issues, the past and the future of the Taurins.
Included in this collection, you’ll find David Lee Summers, D. Moonfire, Ian Brazee-Cannon, Tyree Campbell, Anna Paradox, Laura Givens, and Rick Novy.
During this week's e-book sale, you can get Taurin Tales from Smashwords for just $2. Go to A HREF="https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428" target="_blank"> https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/472428
and use coupon code ZQ47N at checkout.
Taurin Tales is a shared world anthology featuring some of the top names in small press science fiction. The Taurins were created by science fiction writer, editor, and game designer J Alan Erwine. Once he had created them, he invited some of his favorite writers to play in the universe, and further flesh out these new aliens. Thus was born Taurin Tales.
The stories in this collection cover a large aspect of Taurin life…grand space adventures, small character studies, the tackling of difficult social issues, the past and the future of the Taurins.
Included in this collection, you’ll find David Lee Summers, D. Moonfire, Ian Brazee-Cannon, Tyree Campbell, Anna Paradox, Laura Givens, and Rick Novy.
Thursday, March 05, 2015
Happy 14th
Today was Eryn's 14th birthday. It's hard to believe how much she's growing up.. When Rebecca and I first started dating, Eryn was just in Kindergarten, and now she's about to start high school. Tonight she was also inducted into the National Junior Honors Society. She's turning into my overachiever, and I'm very proud of her. She's getting good grades, she was on the A team in volleyball, and she's participating a lot in everything at school.
Happy 14th Eryn!!!
Happy 14th Eryn!!!
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
GM's Day Sale
Through the end of the week, DriveThruRPG is running a GM's Day sale to
celebrate those gamers that make gaming possible. We've joined in the
sale, and we're offering all of our Ephemeris products for 30% off.
Now's the time to stock up on all of the titles you haven't had a chance
to pick up, or if you haven't started playing...now's the time!
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/browse/pub/2805/Nomadic-Delirium-Press
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/browse/pub/2805/Nomadic-Delirium-Press
Book sale
Alban Lake Publishing has three of my books on sale through March 17th. You can pick each of them up for just $8 each.
You can get A Problem in Translation by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/a-problem-in-translation
You can get Where the Fleet of Stars is Anchored by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/where-the-fleet-of-stars-is-anchored
You can get Red Moon Rising by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/red-moon-rising
You can get A Problem in Translation by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/a-problem-in-translation
You can get Where the Fleet of Stars is Anchored by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/where-the-fleet-of-stars-is-anchored
You can get Red Moon Rising by going to http://store.albanlake.com/product/red-moon-rising
Tuesday, March 03, 2015
The disappearing middle class
There has been a lot of talk about the disappearing middle class in America. After doing our taxes last month, I can attest that the middle class is most certainly disappearing. We are middle class, or at least lower middle class, and every year becomes more and more of a struggle for us. When we first moved in together, I left my fast food management job, but Rebecca kept her full time retail supervisor's job. Those first years were difficult for us, but we got by...even if just barely.
Now, almost seven years later, Rebecca is still a full time retail supervisor, I'm now working part time as a retail supervisor, and I'm making more than ever from writing, editing, and game design, and we aren't making ends meet. The simplest explanation is that the cost of everything is rising dramatically, while our incomes are not. When we get our annual raises, we get 2-3%, but the cost of everything is rising much higher than that. Our rent goes up about 5% annually, and everything else follows suit. It's no wonder that people making middle class income, especially lower middle class income are struggling more and more each year. We can't keep up with rising costs, and as long as pay rates stay low and don't increase accordingly, all of us in the middle class will continue to struggle.
That's enough economics for today. Off to do some work...have to make some money somehow...
Now, almost seven years later, Rebecca is still a full time retail supervisor, I'm now working part time as a retail supervisor, and I'm making more than ever from writing, editing, and game design, and we aren't making ends meet. The simplest explanation is that the cost of everything is rising dramatically, while our incomes are not. When we get our annual raises, we get 2-3%, but the cost of everything is rising much higher than that. Our rent goes up about 5% annually, and everything else follows suit. It's no wonder that people making middle class income, especially lower middle class income are struggling more and more each year. We can't keep up with rising costs, and as long as pay rates stay low and don't increase accordingly, all of us in the middle class will continue to struggle.
That's enough economics for today. Off to do some work...have to make some money somehow...
Sunday, March 01, 2015
February recap
Very slow month of blogging. I promise more soon. Life has just been crazy busy of late...
My jury duty experience
Happy birthday, Jul
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica Sectors 33-35
My jury duty experience
Happy birthday, Jul
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica Sectors 33-35
Sunday, February 22, 2015
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica: Sectors 33-35
The exploration of “Unexplored Space” continues with Sectors 33-35.
You'll find more new colonies for your group to explore, and lots of places that have not been explored by any of the current eleven species. The remnants of the Glikth-machine wars litter two of these sectors, and there's a new species that has not reached interstellar space. Will they survive, or will someone like the Culthan come along and exploit them?
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/144976/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtyThree--ThirtyFive
You'll find more new colonies for your group to explore, and lots of places that have not been explored by any of the current eleven species. The remnants of the Glikth-machine wars litter two of these sectors, and there's a new species that has not reached interstellar space. Will they survive, or will someone like the Culthan come along and exploit them?
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/144976/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-ThirtyThree--ThirtyFive
Saturday, February 07, 2015
Happy birthday, Jul
Today is Juliah's tenth birthday. I now have the three T's in my house...a teen, a tween, and a toddler. No wonder my hair is going gray so fast! When I first met Jul, she was even younger than Lex is now, and here she is a 4th grader and a tween. Today we're going to the zoo for their free day and then having a small party.
I can't wait to see who she becomes as she grows up.
I can't wait to see who she becomes as she grows up.
Monday, February 02, 2015
My jury duty experience
Many of my Facebook followers probably know that I was one of the "lucky" 9,000 to receive a jury summons for the upcoming trial of the Aurora theater shooting, or "Suspect A" as the local news media is calling him because they don't want to glorify his name...which is one of the few rational things I've seen from the news media in a long time.
I've now been dismissed from the trial, so I can actually talk about my experience, which still seems a bit surreal. As always, the first thing we had to do was go through the metal detectors. We were then given our badges with our juror numbers and sent to the second floor of the building. Once there, we again had to empty our pockets, and this time the deputies actually searched through our stuff. We were then sent to a small courtroom where we sat for something like 90 minutes, constantly being told to keep our phones turned off, even though we weren't actually doing anything.
They then escorted all of us (and I'd guess there were 150-200 of us) to a larger courtroom. As we walked in we were pointed to seats. Somehow I had the "good fortune" of being sent to the jurors box. As I approached the box, I could see all of the prosecuting attorneys, all of the defense attorneys, and then I saw HIM. Suspect A was there. This was one of those cliched moments where my flesh crawled and my stomach did somersaults. I've written those words before, but I'd never quite felt that feeling as strongly as I did that day. I've never been that close (10-15 feet) to a mass murderer. My seat in the jury box gave me a perfect view of him, and at one time I'm pretty sure we made eye contact, although he was trying to look detached...obviously trying to play up the insanity defense.
Once we were sworn in, we took a recess, and then we had to fill out a long questionnaire on a wide variety of topics (by this time he'd been removed and hopefully sent back to his hole). The questionnaire, I'm sure is what disqualified me. I have kids to take care of, I can't take 4-6 months off from work, I'm opposed to the death penalty, and I understand the difference between mentally ill and insane, which they seemed to be using interchangeably, even though they shouldn't.
Now I've been dismissed, and I couldn't be happier!
I've now been dismissed from the trial, so I can actually talk about my experience, which still seems a bit surreal. As always, the first thing we had to do was go through the metal detectors. We were then given our badges with our juror numbers and sent to the second floor of the building. Once there, we again had to empty our pockets, and this time the deputies actually searched through our stuff. We were then sent to a small courtroom where we sat for something like 90 minutes, constantly being told to keep our phones turned off, even though we weren't actually doing anything.
They then escorted all of us (and I'd guess there were 150-200 of us) to a larger courtroom. As we walked in we were pointed to seats. Somehow I had the "good fortune" of being sent to the jurors box. As I approached the box, I could see all of the prosecuting attorneys, all of the defense attorneys, and then I saw HIM. Suspect A was there. This was one of those cliched moments where my flesh crawled and my stomach did somersaults. I've written those words before, but I'd never quite felt that feeling as strongly as I did that day. I've never been that close (10-15 feet) to a mass murderer. My seat in the jury box gave me a perfect view of him, and at one time I'm pretty sure we made eye contact, although he was trying to look detached...obviously trying to play up the insanity defense.
Once we were sworn in, we took a recess, and then we had to fill out a long questionnaire on a wide variety of topics (by this time he'd been removed and hopefully sent back to his hole). The questionnaire, I'm sure is what disqualified me. I have kids to take care of, I can't take 4-6 months off from work, I'm opposed to the death penalty, and I understand the difference between mentally ill and insane, which they seemed to be using interchangeably, even though they shouldn't.
Now I've been dismissed, and I couldn't be happier!
Sunday, February 01, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galactica: Sectors 30-32
The exploration of “Unexplored Space” continues with Sectors 30-32.
There are more young colonies to be explored, and even some well established ones. There are more remnants of the Glikth-machine war, and even a few abandoned Organic colonies. Plus there are other mysteries, including a possible solution to the greatest danger that faces travelers of Hyperspace...
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/143534/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-Thirty--ThirtyTwo
There are more young colonies to be explored, and even some well established ones. There are more remnants of the Glikth-machine war, and even a few abandoned Organic colonies. Plus there are other mysteries, including a possible solution to the greatest danger that faces travelers of Hyperspace...
http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product/143534/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-Thirty--ThirtyTwo
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
The frustrations of writing
Last night I started on a new story, and it was going really well. I managed to get 1,500 words written, which is good considering I have three kids, but then I suddenly realized I had done the one thing that authors hate most...or maybe it's one of the many things authors hate most. I'd painted myself into a corner, with no way to get out. Somehow I'd gone left when the story should have gone right.
I had no choice but to go back and cut some of the story out...going all the way back to where I first detoured. So, when all was said and done, the 1,500 words I'd written became 350. Oh well, I can still work with what I have. I'll just be more careful to stick with the original idea...
I had no choice but to go back and cut some of the story out...going all the way back to where I first detoured. So, when all was said and done, the 1,500 words I'd written became 350. Oh well, I can still work with what I have. I'll just be more careful to stick with the original idea...
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