Monday, June 04, 2007

Ouch!

Just before my freshman year of high school, I had reconstructive chest surgery to correct a problem I'd had since birth. Basically, the cartilage that connected the ribs to the sternum continued to grow, pushing the sternum so deep into my chest that when I took a deep breath, my sternum would rub against my spine. The doctors had said it was one of, if not the worst case they'd ever seen...but like the Six Million Dollar Man, they rebuilt me.

Now that I'm getting older, the surgery is beginning to break down, and as things move around in my chest, the pressure on the ribs causes stress fractures. If you've ever had a stress fracture, you know how painful they are. So, today was the first day at Subway, and all the movement has caused severe fracturing in the lower left rib. So severe in fact, that when I got home from work, I laid on my couch for about an hour just trying not to move...because as long as I didn't move or breathe, I wasn't in too bad of pain.

I'm generally not a wimp when it comes to pain. I have a fairly high pain threshold...in fact, I stopped requesting pain medication 48 hours after they'd rebuilt my chest...and that was a five hour surgery.

I'm hoping that this is just something my body needs to adjust to, but if it's not, then I'm certainly not going to be able to do my job. I'm of no use to anyone if I'm doubled over in pain half the time. So, I may be forced into getting some kind of desk job, doing telemarketing or something...

More than anything, I just wish all the ibuprofen would kick in, because I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight with as much pain as I'm in, and I have to be back at work at 5 am again...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Back to the slave mines

Tomorrow it's back to work for me. The first couple of weeks will probably be a hard adjustment for me, as I try to get used to not being the person in charge, and as I try to adjust to being on my feet for 8 or 9 hours a day, and as I try to squeeze all of my "fun" work into the time allowed by my "real" work. As a result, my posting here might drop off for a bit, but I'll get it back quickly...unless of course you guys want to hear me saying over and over again, "I can't believe I have to do something that doesn't make any difference in the world."

Didn't think so...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Let There Be...

This is something I wrote many years ago. It's not really a story...it's more of a satire. I had a couple of comedic zines interested in it, but no one seemed to be willing to take the chance. Maybe it was because not all of the words are mine, and I freely admit that. Someone else wrote most of this long ago, but it wasn't the "person" most people give credit to.

I finally stopped submitting it, because I knew it would never see publication, but I've now decided it should be out there so that everyone can see just how big of a smart ass I really am!



LET THERE BE…
By J Alan Erwine


In the beginning, God created heaven and Earth.
And the Earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
And God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light.
God looked upon the light and said, “Not bad. The photon thing; both particle and wave, pretty clever.” And God divided the light from the darkness.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. Thus was the first day.
And God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.”
And God made the firmament, and divided the waters above from the waters below; and it was so.
And God called the firmament heaven. Pausing, God shook his head. “Let it be called Heaven. The capital letter made it good. “Not bad,” He said, “but I feel like something’s missing. Oh well. I’ll work on that tomorrow.” And thus was the second day.
And God said, “Let the waters under Heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. God shook his head disapprovingly before he smiled. “Let the land be in several places,” He said, “but let it appear as if it was once all in one place. This I will call Continental Drift.”
And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of waters he called seas. “Not bad,” He said, “but any deity could do this.”
Then God said, “Let the Earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the Earth.” It was so, and God thought it was good, but still found his world lacking. God then said, “Let the world bring forth plants and fungi to tempt any creations yet to come.” And God saw it was good. “My creations must be tempted away from me in order to prove their love of me,” God’s deep booming voice echoed across the vast emptiness of the cosmos. Thus was the third day.
And God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of Heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years. And let them give light upon the Earth.” And it was so.
And God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; He made the stars also. God then paused and shook his head. “They have form, but do they need substance?” He asked. There was another pause before he realized he was the only being in the universe. The Supreme Being shook his head again and sighed. “I’ll give them the appearance of substance for now. They can become real later if they must. They’re mine to do with as I please.” God knew it was good, besides, no one expected a deity to be perfect on his first attempt. This would have to be enough for now. Thus was the fourth day.
And God said, “Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the Earth in the open firmament of Heaven.”
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moves, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind; and God saw that it was good, but not good enough. He paused in thought, but creating great beasts was tiring work. He could not conceive of what else his world needed. Thus was the fifth day.
And God said, “Let the Earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the Earth after his kind; and it was so. God saw that this was good, but still not good enough. “Let there be bones of creatures that never lived, and let those bones be buried deep beneath the Earth.” He didn’t know why he created the bones of creatures that never existed. It just seemed like a good idea at the time.
God looked down on the world and realized He hadn’t accomplished what He’d set out to do. He stared upon all the creatures of the Earth and realized what was missing. And God said, “Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the seas, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the Earth. Let him be a god in his own right.”
So God created man in His own image, and God blessed them. “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the Earth and subdue it: and have dominion over everything. Behold, I have given you all of this.”
And God looked around in His omnipotent and omnitient way, seeking to see the futures of His creations. He shook His head after a moment of contemplation and then uttered one word…”Oops!” He then disappeared so that He might try again somewhere and somewhen else.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Battlestar Galactica

It's been announced that next season will be the last for the new Battlestar Galactica. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing...mostly because I've never been able to decide if I really like the show. I'll watch several episodes, and it gets so dreadfully melodramatic that I decide I'm done. How many times can we watch them try to turn up the emotion to such a high level that it almost becomes laughable?

That's when I decide that I'll watch one more episode, and if it doesn't get better, I'm done. That episode always blows me away. I wish there was more consistency from the writers. Let's just have good plot and stop trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator of the television audience.

Of course, when the fourth season begins, you can bet that I'll be there to watch it, and considering how much time I've invested (wasted) on this series, I'll probably watch all 22 episodes...but it better be damn good!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Sam's Dot Update

I recently finished uploading all of the June updates for Sam's Dot. I don't think we've ever had a bigger update...plus Tyree fell behind and didn't get me everything I needed until late. We're going to have to work on that before I go back to the hell job, because I won't be able to devote this much time all at once to it.

This month, we have new issues of The Fifth Di..., Aoife's Kiss, KidVisions, Between Kisses, and Expressions. It also didn't help that we got a few last minute votes that actually changed the outcomes in the story and poem competitions...after I'd already updated the Wondrous Web Worlds page.

Still, I'm not bitching, because as rough as it was trying to get all of this done last minute, I still know it was better than what the "real" job will put me through next week!

Featured author at Rational Atheist

I'm currently listed as a featured author at Rational Atheist. If you click on the title of this entry, it will take you right over there. At the moment, I'm pictured right after Richard Dawkins...not bad company indeed!

I found it amusing that they listed a link to a guys blog or something who was pissed off because my short story (the one Opium was based off of) was accepted, whereas his radical right story wasn't. I read his story, and there was some potential in it, but he needed to do a lot of re-writing. I think the editor made a mistake in his rejection by making it political. He should have just told the writer he didn't enjoy the story. It would have avoided the mess that was created.

So, I guess I am now a rational atheist. The people who know me might not agree with the rational part...but that's just them...

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WorldCon rates

For those of you planning on attending WorldCon here in Denver in 2008, the rates are going up on June 1st, and it's already pretty expensive...so you might want to buy now.

I just purchased my membership...saved $75 over what I would have had to pay next week!


Denvention 3 - the 66th Worldcon - Denver Worldcon in 2008

Monday, May 28, 2007

The Page 99 Test

A while back, I did the Page 69 test. Now, the Page 99 test seems all the rage, and since I'm not one to pass up any opportunity to promote my book, I will of course do this as well.

As a preamble to this section...this is actually the last page of a chapter, so it's a bit short. In this scene, Dominick finds himself facing some difficult choices. He has always been a Christian, and has a very strong belief in God, but he's beginning to see that his belief in God and his belief in the Grand Patriarchs may not be the same thing. He's recently found out that his best friend has been aiding the resistance, and since his best friend is also one of the Charismatics (think Christian Gestapo), the task of killing him falls on Dominick...

Once he no longer heard her footsteps, he went and knelt before the altar. “Lord,” he said, “I need you more now than I ever have. One of your commandments states that we’re not to kill, but the Bible is filled with murder. My life is filled with it. Is killing ever acceptable? When?”
He stared at the crucifix for several seconds. Was he really expecting a response? “I believe in you. I believe in the Grand Patriarchs, but I’m confused. Please, Lord, give me guidance. Give me strength.” He thought about his task for the next day. “Yes, Lord, please give me strength so that I may kill my best friend in your name. Amen.”
He stood up and headed for bed. As he was leaving, he stared back at the crucifix. The words from his speech came back to him. Was it a sign, or just a trick of memory? Why can’t it be like the old days? Dominick would give his life for a burning bush, but God no longer worked that way. Dominick shook his head and began to climb the stairs. Maybe guidance would come in a dream. Maybe God would speak to him as he did to Daniel in the realms of the unconscious. More likely, he’d just see Martin’s face, and he wouldn’t sleep at all.



Order from Amazon

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Swallowing my pride

Reality can be a cold-hearted bitch! The simple fact is that I have to be able to eat and pay my rent, as well as feed the little demon that lives with me, and I simply can't do it for what most jobs are willing to pay me...so I have to go back to Subway. Effective June 4th, I will be the assistant manager at the store I used to manage. I can't say that I'm happy about the situation, but it's better than some of the other alternatives...and at least the guy who owns the franchise is an incredible person. The benefits are better than what are offered by most companies, and the pay isn't bad...in reality, if I wanted to make this much from most other places, it would require a 45+ hour work week. This will be 37-40.

Still, it is Subway...I keep leaving and saying that I'll never go back, but because of reality I have no choice.

I guess I can always hope to get hit by a bus on my way into work my first day...................................

Friday, May 25, 2007

30 years ago today

I'm sure this is going to be the hottest blog topic today among geeks, but I wanted to get my say in as well. 30 years ago today in 32 theaters across America, a little film called Star Wars opened. I was seven at the time, and I can honestly say that I don't remember hearing about the opening.

However, once the film got big, I had certainly heard about it. As a kid, I was a card collector, baseball, football, hockey, and yes, Star Wars cards. I hadn't even seen the movie yet, but I had almost every card Topps had put out. I remember the original set had blue borders, and for some reason, the card that most sticks out in my head was the scene with Vader pointing at Leia when he's accusing her of being part of the Rebel Alliance. After collecting all of the cards, I couldn't wait to see the movie.

Then one night my dad took me to see it. I seem to remember that he had pop cans or something...I think they were for use as discount tickets. Keep in mind that a full price adult ticket cost about $3 at that time. At that price, it's still hard to believe that Star Wars is the number two movie of all times. That's why it still kind of annoys me when people talk about the great openings modern movies have. If you were compare those openings in absolute dollars to what The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi did, I'm sure there'd be no comparison.

The movie blew me away, to say the least. By that age, I had already become obsessed with space and science fiction, and this just took me to a whole new place. I went on to collect all of the action figures, and generally lived for Star Wars for years. Even now, 30 years later, I still love that movie, and the rest of the original trilogy (Empire was the best of the three), and I have no idea how many times I've watched them, and I know that I will watch them quite a few more times in the decades to come.

Who would have thought that a little space western would go on to have such a huge effect on so many people...

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I love the post office

Last Monday I ordered some things on-line, and they shipped via priority mail on Thursday. Here we are, a week later, and I still don't have my order...and all the tracking tells me is that the post office has received the shipping information.

Now, what makes this really pathetic is that the order was for stamps placed with the post office. It should not take more than a week for a priority package from the post office to get here.

I suppose if it's not with tomorrow's mail, I'll have to start raising hell...like that really does any good with government employees...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

War Pigs-The Iraq version

As I mentioned in my last post, I've always been a bit of a metal head, and of course one of the founders of metal was Black Sabbath, and I've always loved their music. They're not exactly great musicians, but they were ground breakers, and they were a huge influence on the genre. It's kind of like Isaac Asimov to science fiction. He wasn't the greatest of writers, but where would any of us be without him (and before anybody has a hissy fit, I love Asimov's stories, but he wasn't the greatest "writer" and that's ok.)

One of my favorite Sabbath songs was War Pigs, which was written about the Vietnam War, but can easily be applied to today's war...which is just what someone has done with this YouTube video...


I thought I'd seen it all

I'm taking a break from my usual ranting and self-promotion for a bit of a laugh.

I'm getting to that age where I don't think there is anything that can surprise me, and then I learn about a new metal band. For those of you that weren't aware, I am a bit of a metal head (as if the long hair didn't give it away.) But this band isn't like most metal bands. Yes, they do play that annoying metal with the lyricist who could never sing if he wanted to, but still they're different than most.

Why? It's a Klingon metal band...that's right, the haters of tribbles now have their own band. If you click on the title of this entry, it will take you to their MySpace page. The music's not much to listen to, but the pictures are certainly amusing...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A story idea

Here's an idea for a story. Yes, it's been done several times, but bare with me on this one...

Imagine a country at war, a country that is slowly losing its civil liberties, a country run by a man (or group) more interested in his own political career and his own religious agenda. Now imagine that this man is slowly losing his power to a disgruntled electorate. What can he do? There has to be some way for him to grab more power. Here's an idea, what if the man implemented a policy where he could take control of the government if there is some kind of emergency...say a natural disaster or a terrorist attack?

Sounds like a pretty good idea for a story to me...or maybe it sounds like something the White House is actually planning to implement. Read here for more information.

In the document, it basically says that in the event of a disaster, the President would be able to take control of the government, basically to make sure that things continue to run the way they're supposed to, and to make sure that the Constitution is upheld. But I have to ask, when has this President ever put the Constitution ahead of his own personal agenda?

I wonder what's going to happen now that I've linked to this document and ranted about it in this blog...do I end up on some watch list? If I'm not already on one...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Toning down evidence on global climate change

These days, talking about global climate change is like talking about the existence of God. Everyone has their beliefs, and there's not much that can sway one from their views.

However, this article discusses the fact that the Smithsonian toned down information in a recent display to appease the Bush administration and Congress. No matter what side of the debate you're on, you have to agree that it's wrong to suppress scientific data in order to please politicians!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Odd stats

A while back, my novel The Opium of the People was added to the search inside feature at Amazon.com. I was just over there, and it gives these odd little statistical breakdowns for the word usage in the book. I thought it was kind of a fun little feature, but I'm not sure how helpful it really would be to a potential buyer. About the only thing I think you can really draw from it is that my writing style is very approachable. I don't try to overwrite. More often than not, I'll use simple sentences and words as opposed to trying to impress people with my vocabulary. I often think of myself more as a story teller than a writer..but that's for all of you to decide.

So, since I found this neat little feature, I decided I would compare my book to the two books I bought last night, Rollback by Robert Sawyer and Everfree by Nick Sagan. Both of these writers are what I would consider very approachable. So, here goes...

For readability, they have three categories: Fog Index, Flesch Index, and Flesch-Kincaid Index. The Fog Index is supposed to tell you how many years of formal education you need to have in order to understand the book. The Flesch Index gives a score between 1 and 100. The higher the score, the easier it is to read. The Flesch-Kincaid Index tells you what U.S. grade level you need to have in order to understand the text.

Fog Index:
Opium: 8.0
Rollback: 8.2
Everfree: 8.5

Flesch Index:
Opium: 74.7
Rollback: 71.6
Everfree: 69.6

Flesch-Kincaid Index:
Opium: 5.7
Rollback: 6.2
Everfree: 6.4

Complexity is broken into three categories: Percentage of complex words, syllables per word, and words per sentence.

Complex Words:
Opium: 9%
Rollback: 8%
Everfree: 10%

Syllables per word:
Opium: 1.4
Rollback: 1.5
Everfree: 1.5

Words Per Sentence:
Opium: 11.4
Rollback: 12.0
Everfree: 11.3

Again, I don't think these numbers really mean anything. It's just kind of fun to look at.

Order a copy of The Opium of the People

More on Sawyer

I did make it Robert Sawyer's signing last night, and I have to say that he is one of the classiest guys in the field today. He showed up early and went through the crowd introducing himself and talking to people for a while. He remembered me, not by name, but by face, and even had to snap a picture. I hate pictures, and I'm sure it showed, but we'll know for sure when he posts it on his blog...

He did a brief reading of Rollback, and then took a lot of time to answer questions. One thing he addressed was the shrinking SF field, and what he had to say made a lot of sense. I can't put it as well as he can, but here is basically what he had to say.

1) It's Arthur C. Clarke's fault. Not really, but he did point out that the future imagined in 2001 didn't come true, and a lot of other things predicted by SF haven't come true. Also, science fiction failed to predict the world wide web. To those of us in the field, it doesn't really matter because we read the fiction because we love it, but to people outside of the field, there's the idea that science fiction is a predictive fiction, and when it fails to accurately predict the future, then it's no different than fantasy.

2) Science fiction is basically a fiction that revolves around evolution. I won't go into his argument on that point, but I think most of you would agree with that. The problem with that is that evolution has become more or less a taboo subject, especially in America. Therefore, when it's just glossed over in science class, people don't learn enough about it to understand what SF is trying to do.

3) People can now get their SF fix from a lot of different places, and this is a lot different than it was in the 40's, 50's, and 60's.

All in all, it was quite a good time. I got my book signed, which I usually don't do, but I figured it was worth it for him. I also met another Denver author, Warren Hammond, whose first book will be released by Tor next month.

And, even though I'm pretty much broke, I also had to pick up a copy of Nick Sagan's Everfree. It's the final book in his first trilogy, and I've really been looking forward to getting my hands on it since it came out in trade paperback.

They also had a bargain price on Asimov's Guide to the Bible, which I've always wanted to have, but I decided to pass on it. Maybe once I get a job, I'll head back down there and pick that up!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Robert Sawyer

Assuming these ominous thunder heads pass over, I will be going to the Tattered Cover in Denver tonight to see Robert Sawyer read and sign his newest book Rollback. I've done two conventions with Robert, CopperCon in 2005 and MileHiCon in 2006, but I've never had the chance to hear him read. There was always a conflict of interest.

I first read his work just before CopperCon and I was very impressed. At the convention I was doing a signing, or at least I was sitting in the dealers room with no one else in there, when he came in. He took the time to come over and introduce himself and then talked to me for a couple of minutes. He didn't have to do that, but he's just a nice guy. I've done conventions where the guests of honor didn't even like to talk to the other writers unless they had major book deals. To them, it seemed like it was some kind of contest..."Just how big is your book deal?" Not Robert Sawyer. He always seemed to have time for the fans, and I respect that a lot...plus the guy is an amazing writer.

Hopefully, that will be where I am tonight...

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Bias in media

Recently Don Imus was fired for making what could best be called stupid comments. Recently an on-air personality here in Denver made the comment that all Muslims in this country, even citizens, should be forced to wear tracking devices. Here's an article about the incident.

This guy still has a job. Why? Because he's a conservative, plain and simple. I don't necessarily think the guy deserves to lose his job, just like I don't think Imus deserved to lose his, but the simple fact is that in our "liberal" media, any conservative can pretty much get away with saying whatever they want. Limbaugh once told an African-American caller to take the bone out of his nose and call him back. And we don't even need to begin to go into the things O'Reilly says on his show. But if a liberal says something controversial, then they usually lose their jobs. That to me is bias, and clearly shows that the idea of a liberal media is no longer true. Let's face it, Rupert Murdoch is now one of the most powerful people out there, and he's no liberal, folks.

The idea of tracking citizens probably sounds like a good idea to Bush and the other neo-cons as they continue to try to establish a fascist state here in America, and this guy just made the mistake of actually voicing those interests. To those of us that read, it's starting to sound like 1984. Believe me when I say that if they were to implement a policy like this, it wouldn't be long before tracking devices were put on other people...especially those that oppose the current regime.

Having said this, why don't I think the guy should lose his job? Simple, I do tend to agree with people that say we're too PC anymore. Although I do think we need to be respectful of other people, I think that we should still be allowed to express our opinions, even when they differ from common sense. As long as you're not preaching hate, and I do think there is a difference from what this guy said and true hate, I don't think you should be censored. Of course, I didn't hear the entire broadcast, so I don't know if there was more to it, and I also don't know if this guy preaches this kind of stuff on a regular basis. But no matter what he says or does, we as citizens have the right to not listen to him, or to boycott products, or to boycott stations.

John Scalzi has declared himself Writing Dictator

For any of you that are writers, John Scalzi's latest blog entry is a must read. If you're not familiar with his blogging style, you should know that he likes to be a bit sarcastic as he tries to get his point across...but you should be used to that if you've been reading my blog for very long.

Simply click on the subject line of this entry to go and read...