There are a large number of people dealing with chronic pain, myself included, and I think people who don't deal with it don't always understand what it's really like, so I'm going to try to put into words some of the things I deal with and some of the things I've heard and read from others.
When you're dealing with chronic pain, life becomes something like a jigsaw puzzle, with the pieces of the puzzle being different aspects of your life, and as the pain takes over, you can visually see the different pieces of your life puzzle disappearing. For example, my little one will ask me to pick her up, but I know if I do, it will hurt...and a piece of my life disappears.
As the pain increases for anyone dealing with chronic pain, more things disappear from their lives, more puzzle pieces vanish, and you can never be sure if you'll get them back. Eventually, the pain begins to effect everything and everyone in your life. It begins to effect your relationships with your family, friends, co-workers, and even people you don't know, because the pain drains your energy and will often leave you angry and depressed. Again, more and more pieces of the puzzle that is your life are gone, and sometimes there's no way of getting those pieces back.
As the pieces slowly disappear from your life, you're eventually left with only one puzzle piece, and the only thing that piece says is pain, and it says it in large bold letters. The pain takes over your life and dominates everything. It's at this point that many sufferers take the final way out, and if non-sufferers realized what they were going through, they might understand why they take this option. It's not cowardice that causes people to take this option, but when personal strength is one of the puzzle pieces that disappears, sometimes this seems like the only option. If you know you still have twenty, thirty, or forty years to live, and you know you'll suffer every day of those years, sometimes it seems like the option...but hopefully people that feel this way, can find something to hold on to.
For myself, I'm now to a point where a four hour shift leaves me almost doubled over in pain, and even sitting up at the computer for a couple of hours leaves me almost debilitated, but there is still hope. We'll have new insurance in May and I can get back on the meds that work. Granted, I can't stay on meds forever, but we also have a surgeon that we'll be meeting with, and hopefully he can fix things, and maybe I can pick my little girl up again, and I can be the person I was before pain become one of the few pieces left in the puzzle of my life.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Nomadic Delirium Press is having a sale
From the Nomadic Delirium Press blog:
You can get a number of our books for 10% off now until the end of April. There are short story collections, anthologies, magazines, games, and game supplements. This even includes a couple of our most recent releases (Crisis Averted by Laura Givens and Quantum Women by Tyree Campbell.)
No coupon codes, just go to http://nomadicdeliriumpress.com/blog/shop and click on the titles with the "Sale" icons.
You can get a number of our books for 10% off now until the end of April. There are short story collections, anthologies, magazines, games, and game supplements. This even includes a couple of our most recent releases (Crisis Averted by Laura Givens and Quantum Women by Tyree Campbell.)
No coupon codes, just go to http://nomadicdeliriumpress.com/blog/shop and click on the titles with the "Sale" icons.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Save on my e-stories and e-books
Now through the end of April, you can save 50% off of your entire purchase of e-books and e-stories through my website at http://www.jalanerwine.com/blog/shop. It doesn't matter how many, or how few titles your order, just use the coupon code "new" at checkout, and it will take 50% off of everything in your cart...and since they're e-books, there's never any shipping and handling.
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
The Ephemeris Encyclopedia Galacitca: Sector Forty-Four (Lomisian Space)
From the Nomadic Delirium Press website:
The exploration of "Deep Space" continues.
Welcome to Sector Forty-Four, the home system of the Lomisians. Here you'll find their homeworld, and many of the worlds they've colonized. You'll also find worlds that have been taken from the Lomisians. Plus you'll find worlds that even the Lomisians avoid, and damaged systems that are a danger to all, but a challenge for the brave.
Available from us at: http://nomadicdeliriumpress.com/blog/product/ephemeris-encyclopedia-galactica-sector-forty-four-lomisian-space/
Available from DriveThruRPG at: http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/177714/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-FortyFour-Lomisian-Space
This title will also be available as a digital download from all of the usual distributors...
The exploration of "Deep Space" continues.
Welcome to Sector Forty-Four, the home system of the Lomisians. Here you'll find their homeworld, and many of the worlds they've colonized. You'll also find worlds that have been taken from the Lomisians. Plus you'll find worlds that even the Lomisians avoid, and damaged systems that are a danger to all, but a challenge for the brave.
Available from us at: http://nomadicdeliriumpress.com/blog/product/ephemeris-encyclopedia-galactica-sector-forty-four-lomisian-space/
Available from DriveThruRPG at: http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/177714/The-Ephemeris-Encyclopedia-Galactica-Sectors-FortyFour-Lomisian-Space
This title will also be available as a digital download from all of the usual distributors...
Order e-stories and e-books
It's taken me many months, but I finally have almost all of my short stories now available as e-book downloads. Also, several of the books I've edited and written are also available. There are three places you can order them from...
You can get them directly from me at http://www.jalanerwine.com/blog/shop
You can get them from Smashwords at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/jaerwine
And you can order them on Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0035AMA0A
I, of course, would prefer that you order them from my website, since I make more money that way, but please feel free to order them wherever you can find them...and if you like them, please feel free to leave a review.
You can get them directly from me at http://www.jalanerwine.com/blog/shop
You can get them from Smashwords at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/jaerwine
And you can order them on Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0035AMA0A
I, of course, would prefer that you order them from my website, since I make more money that way, but please feel free to order them wherever you can find them...and if you like them, please feel free to leave a review.
Tuesday, March 08, 2016
F'ing health insurance
As I mentioned previously, we had to change health insurance companies recently, and as a result, the company forced me to change the meds I take for my chronic pain. Now that I've been on the meds for a couple of weeks, I can say that the health insurance company is completely wrong in their decision. I'm dealing with more side effects than I did on my previous med. I'm much more tired and deal with dizziness quite often. More importantly, it doesn't do anything for my pain.
On the old meds, I almost always had dull aching pain, but rarely did I have days where I was in intense pain, and I even had days where I was painless. With these meds, I'm always in pain, and it's almost the same as if I wasn't on meds. The pain is often almost debilitating. It's hard for me to sit in this hard chair that I sit in to work from home, and when I have to go to work, I almost always come home in intense pain.
The unfortunate thing about this is that the insurance requires that I be on this med for three months before I can go back to my old meds. Someone needs to explain to me why insurance companies are allowed to make health decisions for people that overrule the decisions of their doctors. That's beyond insane, but since they pretty much own both political parties, there's not much any of us can do...
On the old meds, I almost always had dull aching pain, but rarely did I have days where I was in intense pain, and I even had days where I was painless. With these meds, I'm always in pain, and it's almost the same as if I wasn't on meds. The pain is often almost debilitating. It's hard for me to sit in this hard chair that I sit in to work from home, and when I have to go to work, I almost always come home in intense pain.
The unfortunate thing about this is that the insurance requires that I be on this med for three months before I can go back to my old meds. Someone needs to explain to me why insurance companies are allowed to make health decisions for people that overrule the decisions of their doctors. That's beyond insane, but since they pretty much own both political parties, there's not much any of us can do...
Sunday, March 06, 2016
GM's Day Sale
Taken from the Nomadic Delirium Press blog:
For the next week and a half, you can pick up all of the Ephemeris titles for 30% off from DriveThruRPG at http://www.drivethrurpg.com/rpg_gmsday.php?manufacturers_id=2805&filters=0_0_0_0_0_31817#selectpub. It's a great time to add to your game, or for you to start playing the game...
For the next week and a half, you can pick up all of the Ephemeris titles for 30% off from DriveThruRPG at http://www.drivethrurpg.com/rpg_gmsday.php?manufacturers_id=2805&filters=0_0_0_0_0_31817#selectpub. It's a great time to add to your game, or for you to start playing the game...
Tuesday, March 01, 2016
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